Life has been quite good yet cruel to me for the past few months. In short, time passes, things evolve, and people change. New but expected. Simple yet cold. Straightforward and complex. The irony. Yes, life is indeed ironic and there is nothing much one can do to change that. It doesn't matter if it's friendship, academics, career or politics. It's ironic.
People always say: Do the right thing. And you do what everyone think is right. Probably, you convinced yourself that it's for the best. Your actions contribute to forging a wonderful and peaceful community, society or even a better world, for everyone. But does everyone include you? Does this right thing do justice to yourself? Can you look yourself in the eye in the mirror and tell yourself that whatever you're happy? Not many people can do that, certainly not me.
When someone does something they are happy with, life for them would be good. Although they struggle, they have problems here and there, but it still is something they they like, and putting up with all the difficulties makes it all worth when they get a taste of the fruit of success. They made it, with something that they love. Life is fulfilling. It is good. And when I see someone like that, I can't help but envy.
Just recently, my friends from the dance club performed on stage. It was a very weird feeling for an ex-performer like me to be part of the audience. I felt very out of place. I wanted to be on stage with them, I wanted to go through all the struggles, hardships that they went through. I wanted to dance. But because I had chose to do the right thing, I had to stop dancing. And it hurts so much. The right thing hurts so much.
I shall continue to struggle with whatever I'm doing now. But I will never know if it's the right choice or not. Because life is ironic. The right things tend to go unjustified, and so be it.
